you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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