So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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