i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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