I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I smell like Dick and happiness
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
