He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
