Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
