I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
