My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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