brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm too high and old for this...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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