Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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