well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
