Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Rumble strips road head = magical
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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