God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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