It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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