..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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