So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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