SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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