i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
