sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm always down for nudity.
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