when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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