that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
