it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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