I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
