It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I believe in your delicious
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
