All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
