i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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