I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
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Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
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I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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