his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Hippo gnu deer
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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