well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
