well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I love you. Go after that dick
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize