i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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