Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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