Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
