i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
