I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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