after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
