My brain says no but my pants say off.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
