how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We're too hungover to prance.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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