Where is the hickey?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
