So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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