No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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