talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
is this the sara with the beer cane?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
