wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize