this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
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I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
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I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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