sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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