Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize