So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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