So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
