The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
