You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
