We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
