I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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