Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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